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Knowing God, Knowing Self

I was reading the recent (Winter '06) copy of Congregations, the magazine of the Alban Institute, and came across an article by Jeffrey D. Jones proposing metaphors & traits for future Christian leaders.  Jones gives a good, evocative list: heart of a servant, mind of an architect, spirit of an ascetic, arms of a hugger, strength of a gymnast, legs of a marathoner, and soul of a poet.  (I'd replace "mind of an ecologist" for "mind of an architect," perhaps, but that would be another post.)

While I think he is right-on in identifying "the spirit of an ascetic" as a key quality for 21st-century Christian leadership, and I am glad he points us to the desert fathers & mothers, I think he misses the mark in a significant way.  The question is one of knowing ourselves, and knowing God: how are they related?

Ash Wednesday

Ash Wednesday, the beginning of Lent.  Matthew 6, Psalm 51, Joel 2, 2 Corinthians 4.

Ashes.  Marking foreheads with the sign of the Cross.

"Remember you are dust..."

On the face of the woman who just buried her mother. 

The little child.  The newborn baby.  How can I make sure not to get any of it in his eyes?

"...and to dust you shall return."

On the forehead of the young man now a couple of years into living with a brain tumor.  On the wife of a man whose doctor just had to use the "c" word, cancer.  Do I really need to remind these folks of mortality?

The almost intimate act of brushing aside hair, the sloppiness of ashes.  The heartbreak of saying those words to someone who likely won't be with us next year.

The teen who is invincible.  The retiree who can hardly stay standing as I touch his face.

"Remember you are dust..."

To the man who labors for the church behind the scenes every day.  To the couple who backbite and spread gossip but are sweetness and light to your face.

The man whose secret sin, exposed for the world to see, would crush anyone not sustained by the grace of God: he staggers away, stained and tear-drenched.

"...and to dust you shall return."

I can still feel the ashes on my own face, my visage marked by a sign of cleansing, repentance, mortality, and renewal.  I need those ashes.  I need God's grace.

But I can still feel the ashes on all of their faces too.  What a terrible, wonderful beauty God's mercy is.  What a piercing love Jesus brings; a sword, indeed.

Remember that you are dust.  And to dust you shall return.

Remember that you are God's.  And to God, may we all return.

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